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Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, by Marya Hornbacher
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Precociously intelligent, imaginative, energetic, and ambitious, Marya Hornbacher grew up in a comfortable middle-class American home. At the age of five, she returned home from ballet class one day, put on a enormous sweater, curled up on her bed, and cried--because she thought she was fat. By age nine she was secretly bulimic, throwing up at home after school, while watching Brady Bunch reruns on television and munching Fritos. She added anorexia to her repetoire a few years later and took great pride in her ability to starve.
Marya's story gathers intensity with each passing year. By the time she is in college and working for a wire news service in Washington, D.C., she is in the grip of a bout of anorexia so horrifying that it will forever put to rest the romance of wasting away. Down to fifty-two pounds and counting, Marya becomes a battlefield: her powerful death instinct at war with the will to live.
Why would a talented young girl go through the looking glass and step into a netherworld where up is down, food is greed, and death is honor? Why enter into a love affair with hunger, drugs, sex, and death? Marya sustained both anorexia and bulimia through five lengthy hospitalizations, endless therapy, the loss of family, friends, jobs, and, ultimately, any sense of what it means to be "normal." In this vivid, emotionally wrenching memoir, she recreates the experience and illuminates the tangle of personal, family and cultural causes unlying eating disorders.
Wasted is the story of one woman's travels to the darker side of reality, and her decision to find her way back again--on her own terms.
- Sales Rank: #4787197 in Books
- Published on: 1998-01-05
- Released on: 1998-01-05
- Formats: Abridged, Audiobook
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 7.00" h x 4.25" w x 1.25" l,
- Running time: 360 minutes
- Binding: Audio Cassette
Amazon.com Review
"I fell for the great American dream, female version, hook, line, and sinker," Marya Hornbacher writes. "I, as many young women do, honest-to-God believed that once I Just Lost a Few Pounds, suddenly I would be a New You, I would have Ken-doll men chasing my thin legs down with bouquets of flowers on the street, I would become rich and famous and glamorous and lose my freckles and become blond and five foot ten." Hornbacher describes in shocking detail her lifelong quest to starve herself to death, to force her short, athletic body to fade away. She remembers telling a friend, at age 4, that she was on a diet. Her bizarre tale includes not only the usual puking and starving, but also being confined to mental hospitals and growing fur (a phenomenon called lanugo, which nature imposes to keep a body from freezing to death during periods of famine).
From School Library Journal
YA-Eating disorders are frequently written about but rarely with such immediacy and candor. Hornbacher was only 23 years old when she wrote this book so there is no sense of her having distanced herself from the disease or its lingering effects on her. This, combined with her talent for writing, gives readers a real sense of the horror of anorexia and bulimia and their power to dominate an individual's life. The author was bulimic as a fourth grader and anorexic at age 15. She was hospitalized several times and institutionalized once. By 1993 she was attending college and working as a journalist. Her weight had dropped to 52 pounds and doctors in the emergency room gave her only a week to live. She left the hospital, decided she wanted to live, then walked back and signed herself in for treatment. This is not a quick or an easy read. Hornbacher talks about possible causes for the illnesses and describes feeling isolated, being in complete denial, and not wanting to change or fearing change, until she nearly died. Young people will connect with this compelling and authentic story.
Patricia Noonan, Prince William Public Library, VA
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
This gritty, bluntly honest personal account read by the author tracks Hornbacher's downward spiral from bulimia at age nine to life-threatening anorexia requiring five lengthy hospitalizations. Interwoven with the remarkably vivid chronicle of this struggle is an adept examination of the complex causes of eating disorders. While accepting that a troubled, chaotic family life and the relentless bombardment of cultural messages exhorting thinness played a role, the author acknowledges that her underlying neurotic intensity and perfectionism contributed to the problem; she concludes that she is "a victim, primarily, of myself, which makes victim status very uneasy and ultimately ridiculous." This abridged version sharpens the focus of the original text, and the outstanding narration by Hornbacher enhances the unblinking tone of the work. Highly recommended for all public libraries.?Linda Bredengerd, Univ. of Pittsburgh, Bradford, PA
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Honest and Real
By Joey L.
This is a great book on the devastation that is an eating disorder. As an eating disorder survivor myself (albeit one significantly less severe than Ms. Hornbacher's) it paints an accurate and moving account of what it's like to go through something that many don't understand. Hornbacher lays everything out in the open and offers a lot of the brutal, honest, and disturbing truths of having a constant battle with yourself surrounding one of the most basic human needs, eating. This by no means is a book for the faint of heart, but it's real. If you currently watching a loved one go through an eating disorder, this is a great book to get a brutal understanding of what they're going through. It's not easy to read, but it's the sad reality and hopefully you'll come out of it with a greater appreciation of their struggle.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
I am a former bulimic/anorexic. Having said that, ...
By Ladydanie
I am a former bulimic/anorexic. Having said that, I am sure I am not alone in the reality that we who have had this disorder read many accounts of others with the disorder. This one is the least romanticized or glorified or even blame filled. Marya tells the story in all its gore and bitterness. There are no frills no one finishing this book would want to attempt to go down the slippers slope of screwing around with your diet or health. I had never read or been able to describe the "cold" you physically feel as an anorexic. Marya does it so eloquently it put me back to 89 pounds and constantly freezing, even in the winter. The description of the terror of your hair falling out. The description of the terror of little by little killing yourself and the madness of not being able to stop and almost feeling powerful in doing so. Anyone who seeks to see inside the mind of the disorder -or who has been through it and wants to know they weren't the only ones who did some crazy stuff, should read.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
I have read this a few times through the years...
By Kawaii
And it's an excellent book. I love her writing, she's ultra talented and real. I've read several eating disorder books. Many are teen based and has a lot of angry tones, and they were difficult for me to relate to. In this book, it's not just the rebellious mind but something more complicated... Someone finding herself, finding what is important in life, her growth as a person. I love the way she shows her struggles that began at an early life, her chaotic family and brings you through her journey to become well. One of my all time favorite books.
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